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Thursday, February 22, 2007
Twenty-Seven Weeks
posted by clake at 7:36 PM
Klake is in her twenty-seventh week of pregnancy now. Her belly is huge, and she's a little bit weirded out that it has three months to get bigger. She has two pairs of maternity pants that are now the only ones she fits into. Every doctor's appointment has been uneventful and positive - She's young and healthy and on schedule to deliver a perfect baby. Rock on!
I can remember a time when the fetus' little kicks were almost impossible to feel. Now he often jumps around, headbanging and pumping his fist like that a hyperactive teen at a local rock concert. Klake likes to call this spurts of activity "playing 'bag full of weasels'". Last night, Klake asked me to feel her belly in a specific spot where she swore she could feel a foot poking against her. It did indeed feel like a bony human appendage pushing out against her uterus. Weird stuff, people.
I find myself feeling two seperate ways toward being a father. Part of me likes the remaining three months that stand between me and that responsibility, and other part of me just looks forward to getting the kid out of my wife so she can start to recover from his parasitic effect. She gets tired often, she gets emotional, she aches - I don't like seeing someone I love feel like that. She's particular about her body, and I can see how she dislikes the idea of growing bigger. I do my best to reassure her that she's beautiful, which she is. She's so healthy and full of potential - not to mention that "glow" of pregnancy.
It's three more months before the real responsibility of being a father. I hope to fulfill them well. Klake and I are happy with our decision to become parents. Though we also remain supportive of those who prefer never to have kids. We were these people for a long time and I still feel it is a legitimate way to live a full life, though I have now chosen a different path. Some people - very small-minded individuals - feel that it is selfish to not have children. I think you should also consider the opposite opinion: That procreation is a selfish act. After all, the world does not need more people. It's pretty full as it is. Yet you feel the need to spew out your own progeny into this world of limited resources as though this is some great benefit to mankind.
Not that I'm backsliding on my decision. I'm just being provacative. It's necessary sometimes.
An episode of the new Battlestar Galactica shows Commander Adama calling off a grim assassination attempt on a ruthless superior officer. His mind was changed after mulling over a conversation with a cylon - a race of robotic replicants at war with humanity - about whether the small number of remaining humans deserved to survive. The idea being that it isn't enough just to stay alive, the human race has to deserve its survival. I hope I can demonstrate this in some way to my son. I want to set an example of living a good life and having the world be a better place because I'm in it.
I see from what I've written above that though my life is going to change profoundly, a lot about me is going to remain the same. Certain ideals will remain. And my open-mindedness and constant questioning of the status quo are traits that should stick with me on my journey. Also, the paragraph above tells you that I'm not anywhere close to discontinuing my nerdiness. Nuh-uh.
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